Some days of respite

I had in one of my posts a few weeks back that we were going to be doing some respite foster care for a family with a two year old girl.  Well, the week before she was supposed to come they called us with another respite placement for the whole week leading up until she came.  Phew!..... I get exhausted just thinking about it again!

Well, these were three cute little ones that had just come into care about three weeks before.  They came at about 10:30 on a Friday morning and by 11:30 I was getting angry phone calls.  Long story short, our White's family specialist didn't communicate very well with the county social worker and the lady from the county and the children's biological mother and grandmother were pretty much furious and taking it out on me.  Since we've never had a permanent placement of our own, I had never dealt with birth families or county social workers, but I guess there's a first time for everything.  Would've kind of been nice not to have to be thrown straight into the deep end but I handled it pretty well I think.  Both the family and the social worker were upset that they weren't told sooner (as was I because they called less than 24 hours before dropping them off but had known for three weeks that they needed someone) and they somehow misunderstood and thought the children and been permanently moved to us.  It was a mess.  I finally got everyone straightened out and all was good..... at least for the first few days.......

We got to experience this time what life is like and how these kids go through the "honeymoon" period.  About midway through church Sunday morning "M" decided to flip her switch and see just how far she could go.  Thinking that she could get away with anything because there was a big crowd, she went full force.  Well, little did she know that Miss Angie could care less how many people are around and rules are rules no matter where you are.  Then came the glass breaking screaming fits from little "m."  Never heard so much screaming in my life and there was nothing I could do for him.  When my kids were little and went through the fit phase they learned pretty quickly not to because I would simply put them in their room and say they could scream all they want in there but I wasn't going to have it out for me to listen to.  Well, he would scream all the louder (didn't even think it was possible)  and climb out of the crib and start tearing things up.  I tried holding him, distracting him, taking him out of the room, but nothing worked.  God bless his current foster mom for putting up with that!  "N" was the oldest and he was a pretty easy going kid for the most part.

This was definitely the hardest time we've had so far but we made it through and learned some things for sure.  We have definitely decided that to take on three is too much for us.  We're technically not supposed to have more than two considering our square footage but I know sometimes they make exceptions.  I just don't think I'm a mom who's cut out to have more than 4 kids at a time.  We each have two hands so that seems logical :)  The other thing was that these ones were very young and it was a lot to have so many kids under 5 at the same time.  When we kept the other three in January for two weeks they were a little older so getting in and out of the car was easier when you could just tell everyone to get their shoes on or to get dressed.  This was definitely tougher.

So we made it through the week and Thursday came and these three left and 45 minutes later "L", the two year old little cutie came to stay for the weekend.  This was by far the best respite placement we have had yet.  One of the first things that made it so nice was because it was set up ahead of time and the current foster mom actually kept in contact with me and even emailed over some instruction the day before she came.  She has medical issues so it was necessary to have things written out but even so, I haven't had that kind of communication from any of the other foster parents.  The other thing that was nice was that her foster mom called and checked in and enjoyed me sending pictures via cell phone.  It was just very nice to see how much they cared.  Some of our other respite placements didn't even call one time and sometimes it was for two weeks!  I know they need respite help to be able to get a break but I would still have a hard time not calling for that amount of time!  I call my mom to check on the kids when she only keeps them for the weekend!  To each their own I guess.

We took this sweetie with us to Jackson's preschool graduation the night she came and then out for McDonalds

Friday night we had a campfire and had a few friends over.  They all just kind of stared at Jack and I with these smiles on their faces.  They all said afterward that they couldn't believe how we just worked together as a team to take care of her.  That was definitely one thing that I was so thankful for.  It was like a dance that neither of us knew that we knew the steps to but yet when the music played we just picked up and did it. (OK, there's my poetic moment for this blog! ha!)  I wondered how much responsibility he would take with her and how much he would leave as "mommy duties" but honestly he was just so excited about her that he jumped right in.

"L" pretty much spoiled us in every way over that weekend.  She slept through the nights without getting sick which normally doesn't happen, we decided to take her to the lake on Saturday to stay overnight and the whole 45 min drive there and back she didn't get sick, she just looked at the kids and laughed and smiled as they sang her the ABC's.  My dad tends to hold back a bit when we have foster kids for respite because he knows he'll probably never see them again but after about half a day this little one just tugged at his heart and there he was making a whistle out of his hands trying to get her to smile at all his kooky bird call noises.

I think we have found our calling.  Our office asked us last fall to pick a specialty and we prayed and chose medically fragile children.  We went to every training we could get our hands on because neither of us have a medical background (except helping out with grandparents) so we weren't sure what God had in mind and we're not sure what the future holds but again, we've found our calling.  Not many people are willing to take on this challenge but we're thankful that God has given us different eyes and different hearts for this.  It is truly a blessing.  We didn't want to see her go.

"L" - you definitely have a special place in our hearts.

(pictures without faces and names left out to protect privacy)