Day One: Exhausted.

We survived our first day!! I could barely keep Laila awake for the 10 minute car ride home. I'm really glad I decided to document this not only because it's an easy way to keep you all informed in one mass place but also because we are learning so much that I feel like if I didn't sit and update this I might forget some things!

Laila did so many things today! We had circle time which consisted of singing songs, playing with dolls and learning body parts, using bean bags to find which one matches our hair color, passing a ball to friends. All of that seems like regular preschool stuff and you may be thinking "what's the big deal? why all the fuss and going away from home and paying money when she's already in preschool??" Well, you have to understand how hard it is for her to sit and well, let's just say sit for example. Sitting is something that she struggles with and it is also my goal for this time period. If I have one request it would be for her to ba able to sit and play toys, not only because it is the "normal" way rather than lying on the floor but also because it's much more sanitary. With all of the immunity issues that we have, having her face in the carpet where people forget (or refuse) to take off their shoes or where bare feet that just run outside really quick without shoes really makes for a huge environment of germs. So as I describe to you the things that she did today, keep in mind that when I say that she played at the sand table, it means she was actually standing holding herself up and playing in sand and that is a HUGE deal!

Laila also had lunch and snack with the other kids today. We had worked so hard for so many months and had reached our goal of all caloric intake being oral and then she got horribly sick this spring and we had to go back to straight g-tube feeds. So disappointing! We have seen over the past few weeks that she had been more interested in oral feeds again especially with having started preschool and having snack with the other children. Well today went extremely well. She is drinking from an open cup with handles on the side and doing really well with taking drinks and swallowing (again keep in mind that to us this is involuntary and no big deal but to Laila every drink is an accomplishment).

She had a first day of potty training. She wasn't really excited abotu it but they tell me that she'll get better about it with time. I think her bare little bottom that only ever sits with a diaper on padded seats will take some time to get used to it. I have a potty that they gave me to use back here with me as well so I can reinfoce what she learns throughout the day. While potty training isn't necessarily a huge deal to me right now, it works also on so many other skills with routine and trunk support and control.

Everywhere Laila went today around school she had to get there by working for it. Sometimes she would have to roll, sometimes she would have to walk, sometimes she had to scoot on her knees. No matter what there was no just carrying her lazy little bones :) Also keep in mind that when I say she had snack and lunch she was not in a high chair or her wheelchair. She is sitting at a table on a chair with no harness. She has a bar attached to the table in front of her and she has to hold on to that bar to stay sitting. For the first day, I think she did pretty well.

I had a conference with two of the therapists toward the end of the day today, so here is my gathering from the first day of Conductive Education. They look at Laila and see her potential. They see that she is so very cognitively aware but has a hard time controlling her body. Now to make her mind match her body. For example, when we were in circle time and I was sitting next to her trying to get her to sit up on her own it was a struggle, but when she needed a break after standing by the sand table she was able to sit up for several minutes on her own as we played with a basket of play food together. She can stand next to the sand table and play even while concentrating on the shovel but when i help her stand she can only do it for a few minutes. Her movements are sort of "accidental" right now and we need to catch her brain up to what her body can actually do. So, for everything we sing songs and explain what we are doing. I have to deliberately remember to tell Laila everything and try my hardest not to do things for her. When she needs to hold on the bar to sit up I need to tell her "use your right hand to grab on and then you will be able to sit up." Her brain needs to learn what the movements are and what their consequences will be and that things need to be done in a deliberate way.

So here's the honest truth. I do believe this will work. I also do believe it would be easier to let her sit in a wheelchair all of her life and eat from a g-tube. But, those of you who know me know that even though it might be easier it's not the way I will choose. Even though I've had other parents actually say the words "you're so mean," I don't give in to temper tantrums from any of my kids. Even though I wanted to cry most of the day today because this is both mentally and physically exhausting for both of us, I won't give up because I had already seen by the end of today that some of those connections were coming together. Even though they told me the next fews days will be even harder before it starts to get better, I will still get up and go and give it our all because Laila deserves this chance. When you think about it, easy is not usually ever better. Matthew 7:14 "But the gate is narrow and the way is difficult that leads to life, and there are few who find it."

Thanks for checking in with us :)

Our new House (for the next few weeks)

We've made it to Michigan! We drove up this afternoon after several instructions and tears given at the home front before I left. I'm sure they are going to do fine and I'm just so lucky and thankful to have and amazing husband who is willing to take on the challenge of being without me with two kids who have homework, spelling tests, bible memory, chores, reading, girl scouts and on and on. A big thank to both moms and my sister for helping make this work too!

So the story begins last fall when I ran into another mom in our town with a little one with CP. Her son is a few years older than Laila so I had a great time being able to pick her brain about what works and what doesn't. That day she told me that if there was one thing she could suggest it would be conductive education. I had, of course, never heard of it but quickly went home and found the facebook page of the center she goes to which led me to their website. After seeing the prices I wasn't sure if we'd be able to swing it. That's where the magic came in :)

After talking with Laila's current First Steps therapist about it they seemed very excited and interested. One therapist was so interested and believes in Laila so much that their family paid Laila's application fee. They do 12 days of giving at Christmas and they made Laila one of their days. Amazing! So, then came the tuition. I started talking about this opportunity with the ladies at my bible study and asking them to pray about it. One suggested that I apply for a grant through our local electric company, REMC. This company has a program called "Operation Round Up" where they round everyone's bill to the nearest dollar and then every quarter they give the money away. Turns out there were a few people on the board that had heard of Laila's story, our adoption and how much progress she has been making already and so they decided to cover her whole tuition! I just want to stop and say right here, do not ever limit God, especially when it comes to money. We've seen over and over when He calls you to something he provides. We are also staying in the Ronald McDonald house while we are here. They partner with CLC to provide rooms if they have any open. The only stipulation is that we have to pay a per night fee but it's definitely cheaper that 3 weeks in a hotel. And, by the way, when I got here today someone had already called and paid almost our whole stay. Thank you!

So as we begin this journey tomorrow, I am excited and very nervous. We've been talking about this for almost a year and so many people have said "I can't wait to see what she can do when she gets back" which is where the nervous comes in. I feel a little like we are putting a lot of expectations on this and I don't want to be disappointed but I guess time will tell. If I know one thing it is this, Laila can already do far more than any of us could've ever imagined so anything else is icing on the cake :)

Thans for checking in with us and please keep us in prayer as we start at 9am tomorrow morning. I'll try to update again tomorrow night to tell you how our first day was :)

Conductive Learning Center

Well, I have a lot of catching up to do from the last six months but that will come. For now, I'm going to try to use this blog to help keep everyone updated on our progress in Laila's therapy camp that she is going to for the next three weeks. She and I will be gone to Michigan and Jack and the other two will be on their own. While it's breaking my heart that I just tucked the older two into their beds for the last time until the end of this month, I am also nervously excited about what the next three weeks will bring us, especially for Laila. I'll try to write an update and fill you in how this trip came about tomorrow evening after we get settled in. Thanks for taking the time to care about us :)

Angie

http://conductivelearningcenter.org/

Amazing Friendship

So I blogged about my Steigenberg friends and how great they are before and here I go again!  My Jenni & Erin drove all the way down here from Minnesota to come for our adoption.  How great are they!?!  We were very sad that Dave wasn’t able to come but totally understand with starting his new ministry. 

Jenni and Erin drove down and made it straight to the court house in time for the adoption.  It was so neat to be standing there and have two of my favorite girls walk up to share this most special day with us.  They planed to go home the following Saturday but since MN got hit with a snow storm and then it came and hit us down here they HAD to stay a couple extra days!  Wooohooo!

One of the things that was very neat was that the day after the adoption Laila had a whole day of appointments down at Riley’s so Jenni was able to come with and see what our crazy life is like trying to juggle all of this and Erin was great company for Laila.  Erin is so completely sweet with Laila I could cry.  She’s always holding her hand and if she ever cries she says “you OK sweetheart???”  So cute!  I never would’ve guessed that Jenni and I would end up with girls the same age that could be best friends :)

Laila thought it was great having Erin sit in her chair with her!

On Friday we drove up to New Buffalo and met Jenni’s parents for lunch.  It was fun getting to see them again and catch up after they came to stay with us last spring.  Jenni HAD to go to the lake and touch the water.  She’s a bit of a weirdo but that’s why we make a good pair :)

Friday night Emma was part of the cheering section with the Girl Scouts for a high school basketball game so we all tagged along for the fun.

I really thought Laila would love it because she is obsessed with balls but I think maybe it was way too much for her.  She just enjoyed playing with Erin and taking it all in.

Because of the snow storm school was cancelled so we made our fun snow day schedule and had a great time.  Jenni is way more fun than me and let the kids spend about an hour taking turns doing her hair.

We also did some of the old reliable snow day activities like painting.  Laila loves to paint on the aquadoodle.

The day finally came where the roads were good enough for our friends to venture back home but while we always miss them, it’s not as hard anymore knowing they aren’t as far away.  A trip to MN for spring break is calling my name!!!

Laila Day December 8, 2010

 

The big day finally arrived.  This was a day that never in my wildest dreams would I have thought one year before would be happening.  This change in our lives has definitely showed that God does have a plan, we are not in control, He will set up the circumstances to give you the tools you need, we have a choice in our attitudes toward His plan, we need patience, and above all, He wants to bless us in ways we could never imagine.

Wednesday, December 8th forever changed our lives.  Yes, she had lived with us for five months before that but there is something completely different when you see her real name on paper and when you know that no one can take her away and when you know that you are always and forever her mother.   When you’re still fostering, even if it’s to adopt, you continue to guard yourself ever so much because you just never know what the crazy system will have up their sleeve.  You’re constantly being checked up on and feeling like you’re not free to just be because you’re honestly not in a normal situation.  I think the biggest problem, if’ I’m gonna be honest, was my own thoughts.  Boy did Satan have a hay day in my head the couple of months before this day.  Honestly life with Laila is hard.  There are so many things to keep track of and there’s always some medical problem popping up and I allowed Satan to sneak in there and whisper “you know you can still back out…… is this really the life you want………. God is a bully for choosing this for you…….”  I honestly don’t know where I’d be without the strong Christian support system I have.  There are a few of you that have no idea how you saved me over those months.  One of the amazing circumstances that God placed just for me was that my amazing friend Chanda is in the middle of adopting her foster children as well.  I will sum it up in a card I gave to her one day, it said “you may think you going crazy but you’re not” then you open it up and it says “now it’s your turn to tell me that, isn’t that what friends are for??”  I love it!  We’ve reminded each other over and over that we can do this and God is in control and we have to get Satan out of our heads!!!  Anyway, Wednesday December 8th was our day of victory over all of that.

I am so thankful for this amazing little girl.  She is beautiful in so many ways.  She has shocked most everyone with her wit and determination.  She loves life and smiles through most anything (except discipline of course, she’s two!!).  She absolutely adores her brother and sister like they’ve been there her whole life.  She’s a momma’s girl most of the time but of course whenever she hears the door open to the garage she whips around and says “daaaeeee” because she’s so excited to see her daddy.  I’m so thankful to God that she accepted us so quickly.  I love that she hugs and kisses.  I love that she can communicate with us.  I love that even though I struggle so much with caring for her, my love for her and incredible desire to see her be all she can be win every time.  I love that I love her the same as the other two even though God gave them to us in very different ways.  I really wondered if that would be possible.  I love watching my incredible husband care for her.  I love that he and I have gained this huge bond by going through this journey together because there is not another person in the world who knows how we feel.  I love how much she loves her new grandparents, aunt, uncles & cousins.  And I especially love to watch them love her.  So, even though it’s hard, a lot, I choose to remember how much I love this child, how much she loves us, and most importantly, how much God has done for us.

Enough with the sappy, on to the fun pictures!!

We had asked anyone who wanted to bring Laila a balloon because she loves them so much.  She was pretty excited as people started filing up the stairs to see us.

Waiting our turn to go in to the courtroom.

  

Our crowd was so big that I couldn’t get them all in the picture.  Our lawyer solely does adoptions and he said he’d never had that many people.  We’re so thankful for all of them and the different roles they played in helping us get to this day and that they wanted to be there with us.

This judge was so great!  He gave out little prizes to all of the kids that were there (and there were A LOT!!).  He called Emma & Jackson to the witness stand and was very sweet asking them what they thought about the adoption.  He even asked if they would like him to change their sister’s name to Barbie and Jackson took one look at him and with a very serious face said “um. her name is Laila.”  It was hilarious.

Everyone mingling around waiting to congratulate us.

We were very happy to share this with our friends David & Heidi who brought our baby back to life.

My sweet father had stopped by the hospital earlier in the week and bought “It’s a Girl” candy cigars for Jack to had out.

Getting the official papers from our attorney :)

So I know it took me a couple weeks to post this but one fun thing that just happen this week is that her name has officially been changed with Medicaid now so we are officially done with her old name!!  Woohoo!

Fall Fun

What a warm fall we had huh?!?  Well that all gone now but it was fun while it lasted.  We spend A LOT of time in the fall trying to stay ahead of all these crazy oak leaves in our yard.  We’ve also started doing our neighbors yard as well.  He and his wife are in their 80’s and it’s just getting to be too much for them and we hate to see them pay hundred of dollar to hire someone to do it.  Plus, he has a nicer tractor than us so Jack and I just team up and get it done pretty quickly.  He pays us in popsicles, sweet treats and an occasional pizza :)

Laila loved riding on the tractor!

This is the trailer Jack built that would hold more leaves so we wouldn’t have to make so many trips in to the woods.  Emma & Jackson are our smashers.  They get in and stomp around so we have more room for more leaves!  Lots of fun!

Also with fall comes Grandparents day at DMC.  Jackson was VERY excited since this was his first grandparents day.  I love it because the school really puts on a production and it lasts all morning.  There’s just also something very cool about having everyone there and praying together.  Papa Tom was there with us but he had to head back to work before we got this picture taken.  We’re sad that every year our group of grandparents get smaller and smaller as it gets harder for some of the great-grandparents to get out and about but we’re very thankful that God is still giving us time with all the great-grandmas.

Another fun thing that’s been going on is that Emma joined Girl Scouts this year.  She’s been having a lot of fun with all the activities although it’s been a little rough for her because all of the other girls know each other from school so it’s a little hard for her feel included but she’s really done a good job of sticking with it.  This picture is of her getting her first couple of patches that she earned.  Anyone want to buy some cookies?????

Emma and I got to go on a fancy date to watch our very special friend Samatha perform in the ballet.  I decided since neither of us had ever been to the ballet we would get all fancy dressed up and make a night of it.  We went out to dinner together and got some great time talking and sharing.  I praise God so much for this amazing beautiful girl God has blessed me with.   She is completely incredible and I know God has some very big plans for her.  She does crack me up too.  She leans over to me about 20 minutes into the ballet and says “aren’t they ever going to talk??”  I explained to her and she got a weird look on her face and then just shrugged her shoulders and started watching again.  We both enjoyed it very much and look forward to going again soon.

 

Our Cantwell friends were there that night to see the performance as well so we had to get a photo of all the girls together.  Doesn’t Sami make a cute little Mouse?!

    

One other all fall festivity if the Hamstra Thanksmas.  A few years ago we started celebrating Christmas and Thanksgivings both around THanksgiving time because it just gets very hectic for so many families to get their schedules together in December.  We had a great time playing games, eating, watching movies, eating, opening presents, eating and…. eating!  I love them all very much!

How blessed are we?!?

Deer Intervention :)

Sorry if it’s too graphic for some but he’s very proud.  Jack has been hunting in our woods for three years now with not a lot of luck.  This year he was very diligent (and I was very patient!) to go sit out there every weekend we were home.  All season he had not seen a single deer.  On the last day of shot gun season he only had a few hours left before it would be too dark so he decided to go out.  Emma had been asking all season for him to take her up in the stand with him and he figured since this was his last chance, he let her go.  Right before he headed out he told me how cool he thought it would be if this was the one time he saw deer and was able to get one with her with him.  Well…… they sat and sat and he said he finally looked at her and said they’d stay out about another 5 minutes because it was getting dark.  About three minutes later, up came a couple of deer and he got one!  He also said that when he shot, about six more ran off into the field!  He thinks it was a direct answer to prayer because he specifically asked God to let him share this with Emma.  How cool is that?  Our great friends Rod & Darryl came over and helped us get it ready and then Rod surprised us two days later with the meat already processed plus another deer he had set aside for us!  The freezer is stocked for winter!  Thank you Lord and thank you Rod!!