Switch – a - Room

We’ve been working out tails off over here.  Even before we found out about Laila coming Emma had decided to move in to the bedroom in our basement because she is EXTREMELY afraid of tornados.  We’ve been battling ever spring/summer to get her to go to bed at night because she’s always afraid that there is going to be a tornado.  I explained to her that we have a basement and so if that ever happen, (and probably never will even though the stupid siren goes off all the time!) we have a basement and tornados can’t get underground.  Well she decided that’s where she wanted to be then.  I never thought that she would want to move down there as a seven year old, I figured it would be the teenage “I want my own space” years.  So, we let her try it out for a week or two and she slept wonderfully and loved it so we decided to let her stay. 

The bedroom situation was one of the big things that Jack and I discussed when thinking about adopting Laila because it meant we would have to have Emma & Jackson share a room for a few years.  Laila has some pretty bad nights and we didn’t want her keeping Emma up if they shared a room.  We also knew that those “tween” years are coming for Emma and that she would not want to be sharing a room with her little brother.  We decided that we’d do it for now and God would work out the details later with an addition to our house or something.  How cool that it’s already taken care of?!?

We had some friends offer to paint Emma’s room for us while we were in Mexico so that was a HUGE help because #1 I HATE to paint, #2 it was going to take a ton of painting because it was covering dark wood paneling and #3 I just don’t have the time.  I knew we wouldn’t have the time once we got home with only having 5 days until Laila comes and I didn’t want Emma to ever think “oh, we’ll get to you after we get Laila settled.”

So…… four coats of primer, a coat of paint and more hours than she’ll admit to later….. Chanda made Emma’s room beautiful :)

I told her I wanted it splatter paint to kind of give it some character and to make it match the new bed set Emma had picked out.  It looks really neat!  I think Amanda’s gonna paint some big stars on the walls with some of the left over purple, silver & black to finish it off.

The only issue with this switching of rooms is the mess that it made.  We emptied Emma’s new room and then had all of that mess in the middle of the basement and had to find place for all of it because this was our guest bedroom/catch all room…..  We also had to empty Emma’s old room (including the closet full of junk!!!) to make room for Laila’s stuff.  It was a lot of work and the rest of the house has to turned into a mess in the process but I’m so glad to have the girl’s rooms all finished and settled.

Laila’s Room

Well, enough writing for now.  Need to get the rest of this house cleaned before I bring Laila home tomorrow :)  If I get it done I really wanna write a little about my sweet Emma & Jackson later.  We’ll see…..

ps – here’s Jackson’s room just for fun.  nothing changed but didn’t want to leave him out :)

Are you reading this?  Leave a comment with your name so I know who’s actually reading.  I’m curious.

Mission/Anniversary Trip 2010

Married for 10 years…… It is just absolutely unbelievable to me.  What an amazing blessing these 10 yrs have been.  Although I can look back and see times that we struggled with different things that were going on in our lives, I really can’t think of times that we seriously struggled with our marriage.  It’s been a wonderful, joy filled partnership that I thank God for all the time.  I always tell Jack that I’m not sure why God blessed me were I was in my life when I was 18 and we met but I’m so glad He did!

We started thinking last summer about what we would do for our 10th this year and we tossed around the idea of a Carribean vacation or something exotic but we just couldn’t come up with the right thing.  After talking and praying a bit, Jack said “why don’t we go back to the Yucatan?”  We had been there over our 4th anniversary working together on the mission field and I couldn’t think of a better way for us to spend our 10th.  Being on the mission field together as a couple is one of the most powerful things I could ever recommend to another couple.  A mission trip is always such a huge blessing to a person anyway; putting yourself aside, being out of your “comfort zone,” experiencing the thrill and excitement of the unknown, then being able to experience that with the person God gave you to always be right there on your team is simply amazing.

Once we gave this trip over to God, He ran with it!  We received a credit card offer which got us free airline tickets (NEVER, ever saw one of these that wasn’t a scam but I went through this one with a fine tooth comb and it was actually legit!).  THEN, our friends in Michigan had owed us an authentic New Orleans meal from a voucher we had bought from an auction I organized for our previous trip to the Yucatan so we decided to take them up on that one Sunday we were visiting up there.  Well, we told them about our upcoming trip and how we would work for several days and then try to get a hotel somewhere for the last few days of our trip.  They looked at each other and then pulled out a book from the time share that they own.  Sure enough, the resort they go through had a hotel in Merida close to where we would be.  They decided to give us the stay in the five start resort for only the cost of their transfer fee.  The time share is always for seven days and we didn’t want it for the whole time but it turned out good because we were able to let our missionary friends take advantage of the hotel as well one of the nights we weren’t there.  Seriously, can you believe how big our God is?  Free airfare, basically free hotel; glory to Him.

We booked all this last fall and had everything in place long ago.  Well, come to find out, a group from our old church planned a trip and they ended up being there the same time as us so we all got to work together again!  The other amazing thing about the timing of this trip is Laila.  We really felt like God wanted us to make this trip and we didn’t know how that would fit into foster care but we knew He would work it out.  He had perfect timing planned out so far ahead of us that Laila would not be needing a home not until we got home (t-minus 4 days and counting by the way ;)

The trip turned out to be so much more than we could’ve imagined.  We got to work on the Mission Outreach Center that they are building on their property.  The mission has always housed groups at the church or in the homes of different members of the church.  When this is finished they will have one place that will hold several people and it is two-story so they can house men on one floor and women on another.  We worked on finishing the roof for the second story.  Not sure if Craig planned it this way or if it was just God’s timing but it worked out perfect that Jack was there because his height was a huge asset in handing up buckets of concrete and blocks up to the men on the roof. 

No roof when we arrived

This is what we start out with for our concrete

My big muscles :)  This is how we mix; no concrete trucks here!

Jack passing the buckets of concrete up to Marco

 

Once the edges were done, these solid concrete beams were delivered.  HEAVY!!!  Of course the little Mexican guys can carry them with just two of them but we needed a team!

 

Once the beams were in place, we passed all these blocks up an assembly line for the men to get up onto the roof.

  

Again, my big tall husband was a HUGE help.  I love him :)

It’s sideways but here’s a video of Jack in the background passing the blocks up to the roof.

That was the end of the work that Jack and I did because we knew we needed to make time for spending together (we’re not so good and making time for each other).  We left the group and went to the nice hotel.  We ended up going back and visiting the group a few times, once for church on Wednesday night and once because our friends Raul & Sandra invited us over for dinner.   We had an amazing time exploring downtown Merida and having to speak the language, shop and find restaurants on our own. 

 

Us on our actual anniversary

Craig & Rhonda suggested this really great restaurant.  The man is cooking our dinner over a flaming pineapple that had a face made on it like Mr. Potato Head!

Meet some of our Yucatan Friends:

left to right:  Craig, Rhonda, Janet, Sandra, Abby, Raul, Me & Jack

Hermanas: Me, Sandra & Rhonda

Jonathan, Me & Jack

Made a Mommy at Riley’s

So turns out Laila was actually sick and that is why she was so out of it when she was here the other day.  Her foster mom decided to have her checked out at the doctor and since she’s so complicated that usually means they end up sending her to Riley’s in Indianapolis, and was so yesterday.

I waited to hear whether or not they were going to admit her and they ended up deciding to so I hopped in the car and headed down there to stay overnight with her.  It worked out well for all of us because her foster brother was sick too so mom needed to stay with him and dad had a prior commitment so I got to actually be a help!  Yay!

She was still in the ER when I arrived at around 11pm to relieve dad and the home nurse.  We wanted until about 1am before they got her to a room.  On our way to the room she had to stop for an x-ray so we headed that way with the nurse trying to steer this big old crib down the hallway (which was actually pretty comical!).  When we got to the x-ray the tech kept saying things like “your mommy will hold you” and “mommy, can you hold her hand?”  I must have had a funny look on my face because he asked me if something was wrong.  I told him I just hadn’t really been called that for her yet and he just smiled and said “well, pretty soon she’s yours so you better get used to it mommy!”  Of course I started to cry because that seems to be all I do these days.  I actually think I’m having more hormone issues with adoption than I did with actual birth!! ;)  I think something clicked.  As the nurses would come in and out and everyone just says mom or mommy when referring to me and it no longer seemed foreign to me anymore.   I was able to be with her, comfort her, clean her up, sing to her.  I felt like a mommy.

I think one of the greatest things about today though was spending it with her foster mom.  She truly has a gift for this.  At one point a new person came in and looked at the both of us and said “which one’s mom?” and without missing a beat she said “both of us, I’m foster and she’s adoptive.”  I love that.  I love that we see each other and are thankful for each of our parts in Laila’s life.  I love that this special little girl is loved so much by so many.  What a true blessing we have to be in this wonderful journey with them.

Laila ended up feeling much better today and was able to go home this evening.  I’m so fortunate to be able to go through these experiences and learning while we have help and someone to learn from.  What a wonderful way God has guided us and set up this whole situation.

I ask prayers as we leave in the morning for Mexico.  Praise God with us for our wonderful 10 years of marriage, praise Him for the three amazing children He has placed in our lives, praise Him for our desire to serve Him on this trip, praise Him for His wonderful, unimaginable, unfailing love.  Lord strength Jack and I as we spend this time together and be with our kiddos and keep them healthy and safe until we return.

When we get back = T-minus 5 days till Laila comes to stay!!  :)

June 29th Laila visit

It worked out that we were able to have Laila come and stay at our house for several hours yesterday which we were SOOO excited about! 

She came and was very excited to see Emma & Jackson.  She laughed at everything they did and smiled and had fun.

As the day went on she got more and more tired and lethargic.  Her foster mom had warned me that she wasn’t having a very good day; not feeling well, getting sick a lot and kind of cranky.  Although it wasn’t the “funnest” visit, it was very good for us to be able to see what a bad day looks like for her and that with her medical issues, she just has bad days sometimes.  She said if it lasts a few days then she will check in with the doctor.  These are all things that I’m just going to have to feel out and learn. 

By the end of the night she wasn’t giving us smiles but she’s so beautiful, isn’t she?

One of the things that is just, for lack of a better word, weird to me is the mommy and daddy factor.  Laila has already had two sets of mommies and daddies in her life (birth & foster).  Since we were not thinking that adoption would happen this quickly, we hadn’t had our minds wrapped around someone besides Emma & Jackson calling us mommy & daddy.  In our lives we have “fake” aunts & uncles, grandmas & grandpas, but never does a child call you mommy or daddy unless that is in fact you.  Just to think of the fact that someday she will call us that is just a huge fact to get my mind around.  I have to tell you though, it is amazing how much I love her.  I could kiss her face all day long and tell her how much I adore and love her.  I’m thanking God so much for bringing us step by step through this and hoping as His plan unfolds we’ll see it and remember to praise Him for it all and for the wonderful way His hand has been in our precious new daughter’s life for so long even before we knew her.  Will you praise Him with us for that?  He is amazing!

First camping of 2010!

Over the weekend we got to camping for our first time this year.  We had a free weekend and so did our friends Rick & Anna so off we went!

We let Rick decide this time and he picked Salamonie Reservoir.  It was neat to be able to to go to a new place and check it out! 

We love camping with Rick & Anna because they feed us VERY well!  I think of camping as vacation so therefore we cook everything over the fire with cooking utensils that do not have to be washed.  Not Rick & Anna!  Every day the camp stove is out, the griddle is ready for making pancakes and sausage and they even brought along their charcoal grill this time!  They were very sweet and brought HUGE steak to have a special dinner in honor of us finding out we will be adopting Laila :) 

Emma had lots of fun getting to help them cook too!

The only downfall of the weekend was that it had rained so much recently that the beach was flooded.  There were signs at the check in booth that it was closed but they had left the gate open and others were down there swimming so we decided to go down and let the kids cool off a bit.  They had lots of fun jumping and splashing in the water.

 

The problem with going down to the water that time was that then they decided to close the gate and so we couldn’t go again.  We taught a bad lesson to the kids because when we said we couldn’t go anymore they said “well you let us break the rules earlier today, why can’t we just go under the gate now?”  OOPS!  Bad behaviors taught!!!  Darn!  I really, really wanted to break the rules and go because not being able to get cool in 90ish degree weather was very tempting but I don’t even want to put the thought in their head that it’s OK to break the rules!  Then Anna thought of the great idea on Sunday afternoon to hook up the garden hose at the site and spray the kids with water.  They thought that was pretty fun!

Rick’s daughter Jodi and her children came along too, which was so fun to be able to hang out with her and the kids loved having each other to play with!  Jackson & Cameron rolled down the hill on Cam’s little motorcycle like a hundred times!

Best part is just being able to sit around relaxing at the campfire (even if it is a billion degrees!)  Emma was reading to Addison.

  Our good old pop-up is still serving us well!

We have our big church camping trip planned in August this year and since Jack set it up, we’re going to be going to our favorite place…. the Dunes!!  We’re excited because there are several families camping with us and several who are just going to come for the day on Saturday since we’ll be so close.  Can’t wait!!!

June 28

Today I got to go and hold my sweet new baby girl! It was SOOO exciting! I’ve decided that I just can’t wait until July 15th and since she’s only 45 minutes away, I needed to go and see her!

Today was a great day! My mom came with me to visit her which was very special. We drove down and when we got there she had fallen asleep and was taking a cat nap before her occupational therapist came to work with her. I got to meet her nurse Amy who tends to be the one who is with her the most. It was good to hear that she would most likely be able to switch to coming to care for her in our home on days I need to be gone. It was very informative to watch her therapist go through her exercises and see the areas she has been growing stronger in and learning about the ways I can work with her to strengthen the weaker areas. Because she had all of this going on while I was there, I didn’t get much snuggle or play time with her but it was good just to be there and be learning some of the things that I really need to know.

I’m guessing by now you’re all wondering what her name is because I’ve vaguely referred to her as “L” in my respite post and since then haven’t mentioned her name. At first it was privacy because she wasn’t for sure going to be ours and then it was because we’re still trying to decide. And we’re still deciding at this point but we’re thinking of changing it. Her given name right now is Lania (pronounced Laina). We will probably be changing her name to Laila. Not too different but when we already have two Alainas in the family, Lania gets kind of confusing, especially after watching Jack’s cousin’s Alaina for over a year. So we’re thinking we’ll have a little Laila Ann Hamstra so that’s what I’m gonna try referring to her as.

One other bit of fun, exciting news was that we heard today that there was a court hearing this morning and the judge officially made the order for her to be moved here on July 15th!! Woohoo! I love that’s official in that way now because you just never know until the judge says it’s so. So the process goes now that she will come to us as a foster to adopt placement and “technically” we should have to foster her for six months before being able to file for the official adoption. However, the caseworkers are working to get us SNAP approved (which is a foster/adoption thing) in which a panel will look at our case and approve us to file sooner. We’re definitely not going to rush as we go through this process of learning how to care for her and we’re going to take advantage of the support of the caseworkers right now as we’re learning but we’re hoping that maybe this whole Story of Laila will come full circle and while she didn’t end up getting to be our Christmas present last year, maybe her adoption being final will be done by that time this year :)

Here’s some fun pictures of our sweet girl

Another exciting thing about today was that her foster mom gave me a bedding set from one of her other daughters for me to use in Laila’s crib! Have i mentioned how completely amazing she is and how I’m so thankful for her?!?! So, of course I made Jack move Laila’s crib into her room today and I got it all set up :) It matches perfectly!! THEN, I got a call that she’s actually going to be coming here tomorrow for the day so I’ll get to show it to her! Too much excitement today!!

The Story of Us

As we began and now are in the full swing of this adoption, I thought I’d take a step back and explain just how all of this came about for those of you that don’t know.

A year ago May we felt led to foster.  The training and paperwork went so quickly that we were licensed by the middle of July.  We got a few calls in the fall for placements and said yes but then they either didn't get removed or they gave them to another foster family.  Also in the fall White's (our agency) had sent out a letter about the state changing things and that we might want to pick a specialty and we prayed and decided that medically fragile children were tugging at our hearts.  We had no medical training so we thought the first thing to do would be to go to the White's medically fragile training which was only being offered in the beginning of December.  Well, the lady who was teaching it got very ill and they canceled all of them.  Then at our foster Christmas party one of the specialists told us about a special little girl and that she may need a home and we told her to submit our home study. She also told us another family where the mom was a nurse was submitting theirs too and we were not shocked when they did not pick us nor were we upset because it was only logical and their home was definitely the best place for her.  Also at that time, my friend Amanda from MI got engaged and planned an April wedding.  I ended up spending every other weekend from January through April in MI helping her plan her wedding and kept thinking "how would I have ever done this if they had placed this little girl with us at Christmas?"  We had prayed and prayed that God would bring us a child at the right time but that if we didn't have one by May that we would wait until we got back from Mexico to accept a placement because we didn't want to take a child then leave them right away.  Well, no joke, Katie (another specialist) called to ask us to do respite for this little one over Memorial weekend the week I was leaving to go up for the actual wedding.  We prayed every morning that God would show us his will and how we would fit in to this little one’s life whether we would just always respite for families that had medically fragile children since it seems the state is pretty picky on who can do that, or whether He would give us our own child to love.  Well, then when the foster mom dropped her off to us we found out that she is due with a new baby the end of July and also has three other little ones at home.  We had our little cutie all weekend and absolutely fell in love with her.  We knew that her current foster home loves her so much but that it might be a lot for them to keep her with the new baby coming so we decided to offer to them that we felt God leading us to adopt her.  After careful consideration on their part, they decided this would be best for them as well.  I couldn't believe that the timing would work out that amazingly that God would provide her right after we got done with the other work He had for us to do.  So to make this LONG story short, I feel like He placed her with her current foster parents in such an amazing way with such a great purpose and now He is doing the same for us.

(I did cut and paste this from an email I wrote to her current foster mom because I just had to share the AMAZING way God placed her in our lives)